


Sleep And You'll Know The Truth

by cantthinkofausername_B_Pike



Series: Carry On Countdown 2017 [23]
Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Carry On Countdown, Dreams, Getting Together, M/M, Pining, Stars, questionable reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 17:59:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13059216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantthinkofausername_B_Pike/pseuds/cantthinkofausername_B_Pike
Summary: Baz dreams of Simon and of the stars. Simon dreams of Baz.Carry On Countdown Day 24: Stars





	Sleep And You'll Know The Truth

**Author's Note:**

> a fic! with structure! unheard of from me. also i should probably put more effort into my summaries.  
> Title from Under Denver by Asking Alexandria because their new album is HYPE and I've been listening to it on repeat.

Baz dreamed of stars.

He floated high above the world, so high that the pinpricks of light in the sky seemed close enough to touch. So he did it. He reached out and touched the stars, and their light exploded inside his chest.

Simon cocked his head at him. Baz hadn’t realized that Simon was here, wherever ‘here’ was, but it makes sense. No matter where he goes, Simon is there. He’s everywhere.

The stars twinkled blue-white around them, with occasional bursts of purple or yellow or orange. It was every color and yet no color, and it was beautiful. The light reflected off Simon, making him incredibly far away, untouchable, and yet so close and so very human.

Though Simon said nothing, Baz could hear him. When Baz reached out to take Simon’s hand, Simon’s mouth didn’t move, but he heard an unmistakable “Yes,” an “I feel the same way.” Simon’s head dropped onto Baz’s shoulder. (They hadn’t been sitting side by side before. Or maybe they had.)

The two of them witnessed the stars, their awe and wonder and distant life.

 

Baz woke to a deep sense of loss. He could picture it so clearly: the infinite universe, spread out before him as he left the real world behind him. He still felt warm where Snow had leaned against him. 

Many of Baz’s dreams featured Snow. In the beginning, all of these had been dreams of their bodies together, dreams that left Baz still panting and with a deep-seated embarrassment when he woke. After dreams like that, he was unable to look at Snow for fear that he could see what was still so vivid on the backs of his eyelids. 

More recently, however, those dreams had been giving way to dreams that Baz could only describe as ‘domestic.’ Scenes of casual hugs and forehead kisses and what everyday life could be like, if only Snow didn’t hate him. Dreams like this left Baz feeling the loss of that imaginary life all day, left his longing eyes trailing Snow.

One of these days, Baz knew this had to stop. He also knew that he was not capable of making that happen. Ever since the fifth year, Baz had tried desperately to stop these dreams, to stop feeling that way about his roommate, his enemy. Recently, he’d given up, given in to the pain that was being in love with someone who hated him.

Maybe, once they left Watford and went to uni, this would stop. Removing Snow from his life, not seeing him ever again, would let Baz move on. Right? But then Baz remembered that old saying, ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder,’ and he remembered his time in the Numpty coffin, and he knew that nothing was going to make him forget Snow.

 

That night, Baz again opened his eyes to stars. They were the same stars as the night before, but indescribably different. Baz glided through a thin cloud of gas, purples and reds swirling around each other. Somewhere to his right, a star exploded, creating a blast of yellow and white light. Dots of green and white and blue shimmered and twirled against a backdrop of the darkest indigo. The stars promised him safety, they promised love and life.

When Simon appeared beside him, Baz knew they were right.

But he also knew he was dreaming. Happy as he was to have Simon there, he knew that this was borrowed time, that it was not real. And he hated the stars for giving him false hope.

“It’s not,” Simon told him.

Baz had no idea what he was replying to, but it felt like Simon had just read his mind, and that was something he was absolutely sure Simon could not do. Then again, this was a dream. All sorts of crazy and impossible things happen in dreams.

“I did,” Simon said. “And even if this isn’t real, what if it is?”

“You’re aware that makes no sense, right?” Great. Now even in his dreams, he was being a sarcastic ass to Snow. And Snow was as confusing as ever.

Simon scrunched up his face in confusion. “Doesn’t it?”

“No.” Baz shook his head.

“This, this isn’t real,” Simon said, twirling his finger at the stars and the bursts of brightness around them. “But this,” he explained, pointing back and forth between them, “is.”

“Are you in my dream?” Baz asked warily.

“Or you’re in mine,” Simon said. He sounded far too wise and not at all like the bumbling idiot Baz shared a room with. “Or we could be somewhere else entirely.”

“How do you know all this?” Baz still wasn’t buying it. Somehow, this was the universe attempting to mess with his mind, to get his hopes up even more than he did every night, so that he would be absolutely crushed when he woke.

Simon tilted his head to the side. “I can hear them. Can’t you?”

And now that he mentioned it, Baz could hear the stars. Not words, not especially. They seemed to broadcast feelings right into his mind. Or ideas. Right now, they were telling him that this, that Simon was real. That this dream wasn’t a dream.

“So if this is real, we will remember this in the morning. Right?” Simon nodded. “So, if I do this,” Baz laid his hand on Simon’s knee, palm up. Simon immediately took it. “Then you will remember?”

“I think so. Just like you will remember me telling you this. I know that this isn’t the first time you dreamt this. Not this,” again, Simon motioned to the stars, “but this.” He raised his hand, the one that was linked with Baz’s, and kissed the back of Baz’s hand. “You’re more obvious than you think, you know.”

“I am not! Also, you’re the most oblivious person on this planet.”

“What planet?” Simon laughed.

“Oh, you think you’re funny, don’t you?” Baz tried to hide it, but he was laughing a little as well. Simon was ridiculous, and he loved it. 

“Not particularly. But you walked right into that one.”

“I guess I did, didn’t I?”

“I wouldn’t have noticed you watching me if I wasn’t watching you,” Simon confessed a moment later.

“How long?”

Simon smiled. “I don’t know. Do you remember the first time you noticed me?”

Baz shook his head.

“Exactly.”

Simon laid his head on Baz’s shoulder. It was the same as the night before, only everything was different. Because this time, Baz knew Simon was really beside him. He couldn’t just watch the stars and the supernovas with indifferent eyes. He couldn’t wait to wake up, to make sure this was real, to finally kiss the boy of his dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> these fics just keep getting shorter and their quality keeps declining... but I have done all the days of the Countdown so far!


End file.
